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Tell me there's something better for this than the iPad...
#11
You know you could just buy
1) Some string
2) Some tape/or even a nail!
3) A Large legal dictation pad

They can write numbers in there and everything. I mean wow. That's some fancy technology. Also it will save you loads on batteries and electricity and you never have to charge it! You may have to show your parents how to turn the pages though as it may be slightly too complicated in the technology department.
A-LA-BA-MA MAN!
HE'S QUICK, HE'S STRONG, HE'S ACTIVE!
You can take Alabama Man to the bowling alley, where he drinks heavily and chews tobacco!
HE CAN BOWL, HE CAN DRINK, HE CAN DRINK SOME MORE, ALA-BA-MA-MAN!
When wife asks him where he's been, just use the action button and Alabama Man busts her lip open!
"Shut up, Bitch!"
"Wow!"
BEATS HIS WIFE AND SLEEPS IT OFF, A-LA-BA-MA MAN!
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