Women

[Snowreap]

what does it say about her that you think getting to bed on time is more important than spending time with her?

-ken

That's the thing. I've never done that, said that, or even mentioned the slightest hint of that despite wanting to on several occasions. I always make an effort to go see her if I said I was going to even if I busted my ass all day and want nothing more than to close my eyes. That's just who I am. If I say I'm going to do something I'll do it even to my own personal detriment. I expect the same from other people. I know this is unrealistic but that's how I was raised and despite suffering through repeated experiences to the contrary I can't seem to retrain myself to expect less from other people.

what you do and what you think are two different things. what does it say about her (and about how you feel about her) that what you do and what you think are different? when you stay up late to see her, is it because you want to, or because you feel you have to? is seeing her under those circumstances a joy or a chore?

regardless of all that, I do see your point. you will accept significant disruption to your life to see her, and you don't get the sense that she's similarly willing to disrupt her own life for you. that is, you feel like you are making a commitment to her, and you want some reassurance that she is also making a commitment to you.

you won't get that reassurance from us, I think. you'll have to talk to her about it. but isn't it usually the girl who wants to talk about the relationship, and commitment, while the guy tries to avoid it? this could be awkward.

-ken